It has been quite a roller coaster of a month for me, and there isn’t even anything substantial to cause it.

I don’t know exactly what it is that has caused this roller coaster. It’s probably not any one thing, just a bunch of little reasons to add up into massive mood shifts. If I had to guess, I would think the weather is partly to blame. Winter is rough, frigid, dark. I’m too cold-blooded to like cold weather. I also miss the sun, but it’s clear that spring is on it’s way because the sun isn’t gone at 6pm anymore! And the weather, particularly this week, has been above or around 30 degrees which is warm for here!

To me, February is a month for people surrounding me to seem to be accomplishing many things as well, whereas I am not. I just can’t quite get enough momentum to want to get things accomplished. I’d still rather curl up and snuggle down, but that tends to also make me feel pretty poopy. Along with the avalanche coming down on me of “look how productive everyone else is this month!” It probably is just all in my head, but that feeling still lingers.

I’ve been meaning to write for awhile but I couldn’t think of what to write. I feel like I’ve been too lazy to write about anything worthwhile and there’s pressure I have put on myself for writing so nothing has been good enough to write. Probably why I’m writing this! To be honest about it (to myself) and hopefully use it as a way to say “feeling like this is okay and will pass eventually”

On the other hand, I noticed last week I had a real, actual and steady bedtime routine! One that even was good for me, health-wise! I had a decent daily meal/snack time going too! And the best part about it was that it didn’t feel like an obligation, it was something I truly wanted to do and felt good doing. I hardly gave any of it a second thought until now! (Granted last night, I stayed up way too late and plopped myself into bed without washing my face or eating dinner… but I also am mad enough at myself to not let that happen again.)

I also have been doing puzzles at night to keep my hands occupied and it has been so satisfying to do! Now I don’t feel as fidgety and finishing a puzzle feels like such an accomplishment.

I’m looking back on the resolutions I made in my New Years post to see how they are going. Let’s see:

1. Drink more water! — Not doing the greatest at this, but it’s still always in the back of my mind. I recently have been EXTREMELY interested in buying a Aqua Stream to help with this too though, where I can make my own carbonated water and add frozen fruit to it for a tasty water snack. In the meantime, I have one of those infused water bottles, where I’ve been putting frozen fruit in the middle part and filling them with San Pellegrino and loving that. Just bought another infuse water bottle too.
2. Exercise! Nope. Just sad, plain nope on this. I have been awful with following through on yoga or anything really. Although the last couple days (hopefully not to jinx it) I have been doing some stretching before and after sleeping. Just little things to stretch some muscles, so maybe that’s just a baby step towards real exercise.
3. Writing more! Hahaha… clearly, this has been an issue. But if I stop pressuring myself about it so much, it’ll probably become easier… so I’ll work on that.
4. Taking care of myself! As I said before, I had a really good week of routines that helped with this! As long as I keep that up, this should have good results, plus spring being on the way will help with feeling lethargic as well.

So that’s where I’m at. Just a spillage of thoughts and photos this time. But I do feel better about being honest with myself and to this blog. I think that’s important.

✊